Even though I’m no more than a monster – don’t I, too, have the right to live?

The Bitch

A few years ago i was in hospital for three or four days. I can’t really remember why but that’s not important. A couple of beds down from me was this guy who was a bit younger than me and he was in an electric wheelchair. He had a sort of body brace on aswell to keep him up straight because he could only move his head and hands. It was really sad. He could play the playstation though and there was a playstation in our ward, so since i’m such a nice guy i played a football game on it with him and never once called him ‘Wheels’. I figured, since there wasn’t much else he could do except from play the playstation, he would probably be pretty good so i chose Spain and he went Scotland. Turns out he wasn’t that good and i won.  Because he was in hospital so often he had to have a personal tutor teach him so after i schooled him at playstation he went back to his bed to receive further schooling. So i started playing this other guy that was in a bed across from me and was also a bit younger than me and to save time we just chose to play again with the same teams but this time i went Scotand and he was Spain. The little punk took an early lead and then to my disbelief Wheels started shouting at us. I was like “are you alright?” and he was like “NO! You’ve picked my team and now you’re losing! Quit the game! Quit the game!” And it was just a game and would have taken ages to quit and i couldn’t just let him get his way because he was in a wheelchair so i was like “naa, we are just going to carry on man, it’s a waste of time quitting.” Then he drove over and was like “if you don’t quit the game i will run you over” so i was like “why don’t you get up and fight me like a man?” No i didn’t, ofcourse i never said that, that would be very wrong. Instead i was just wondering how fast his machine of death could go. He started nudging me with it and then he drove really far back and started revving, then drove towards me at an average speed of around 3mph. He was halfway towards me when i scored an equaliser and then i said “look, look i’ve scored.” He stopped and said “right well you better score another one soon” and luckily enough i did. Then his tutor called him over to do more work and i was like “lady you say what? Are you fucking serious?! You wait until now before you call Hotwheels back over?” That’s right, i’ve upgraded his name to “Hotwheels”. “You couldn’t have called him over when he was shouting at me to quit the game, or nudging me with his wheelchair, or on a straight road to giving me a nice new tyre tattoo on my face? You wait until now, after he’s finished threatening me, to call him over! You stuuuuupid bitch!”

By Stuart Glasgow

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